Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Dear Rod...

I know, I know. I really should be blogging more. As the Thrilling Detective Web Site stumbles on  towards its twentieth anniversary, it seems in so many ways old-fashioned and out-of-date, always playing catch-up. 

But I digress. That's another story, another post.

My mini-rant today is about those BSP morons who think the Comments section on assorted web sites, blogs, Facebook posts, etc. is the perfect place to salt the internet with their own dubious stabs at self-worship of the most one-handed kind. As soon as one of these stable geniuses tries it on my blog, I delete it.

But don't worry -- you're not missing out on much, be it vital information on some self-published masterpiece (200 5-star reviews!) or some questionable service or product (Steam clean your woo-woo at home!). There are exceptions, though -- like this one, which popped up today on on an old post about William S. Burrough's stint as a private eye. It was so stupid and utterly irrelevant that I felt I just had to share it with you, before I pressed DELETE.

Dear Rod, 
I might want you to realize that I hold no feelings of spite against you. Your demeanor is like that of the larger part of ASPA individuals, who might take sides without much information of the main problems involved. 
With regards to the particular incident of Facebook, you have done no off-base. I know you like a joke. It was a minor excusable slip. The fault is on the individuals who misused the circumstance and included the inept curve with a specific end goal to cast questions about my individual. 
Your sincere and significant expression of remorse is ordinary of a decent individual and wood not fail to receive any notice. It is esteemed and increased in value by me.-- Matrimonial detective agency in Delhi 

I'm still not sure who Rod is/was.

Still, if this sort of stuff puts a smile on your face, you ought to track these guys down -- their web site is full of examples of their mastery of the English language, and sure to "relieve your sufferings and anxiousnesses and acquire you the clear picture."

After all, they look "forward to make a long-run relationship with you while you connect our fellowship."

(By the way, just by coincidence, I noticed that today is Rod Stewart's birthday -- he's 73 today. All you young punks should do yourself a favour, and check out Every Picture Tells a Story, still one of the great shape-shifting rock'n'roll albums of all time. Folk? Rock? Soul? Gospel? He nailed it. And his work with the Faces and the Jeff Beck Group and most of his solo stuff hasn't been too shabby, either.)